Today is Saturday, and for once I've woken up feeling almost human, it's a 8/10 day today (10 being great, and 1 being unbearable).
I was telling you about Mr Llewellyn, everyone told me about how nice he is before I met him. I remember feeling that it was a bit strange as all the nurses kept saying what a lovely man he is.
I went to the hospital thinking that I must make the most of this long awaited appointment; I went armed with a list of symptoms. They were a strange mix to say the least and I was worried / anxious that no-one was going to take me seriously.
My list contained the following:
Headaches and migraines
Nausea and diahorrea
Unable to exert myself
Regular swollen glands
Itchy, sore throat
Anxiety / stress
Muscle pains / aches
Going to the toilet frequently
Difficulty recalling words
Reprinting this list here doesn't explain how each of these things really affect my life. For example I used to be a morning person; I would bounce out of bed and be up and at it straight away. I used to be able to do all the housework in one morning and then would go shopping and go out in the evening. I can't do any of that any more. When I wake up it takes me about 10 minutes to be able to open my eyes and 'come round'. I then sit on the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes before getting in the shower; that's when I can tell what sort of day it's going to be.
So it's not just that I'm not as fit as I used to be, or that I'm getting older so am having to slow down a little (I'm 44). It's that my body / my muscles have given up.
Anyway, what I wanted to say is that My Llewellyn asked me one question and then proceeded to tell me what my symptoms are. He got everything on my list (without seeing it) and some that I hadn't even recognised until he mentioned them.
He asked me whether my tiredness or my muscle pains were the worst symptom. If he could rid me of one symptom which would I choose? I told him the tiredness and from there he told me how I was feeling.
My husband and I were astounded at how acurate he was; he described me to a T.
It was such a relief to finally find someone who believed in me and understood how I felt that I was almost dumbstruck; just trying to remember every little thing Mr Llewellyn said as I knew that I would need to understand everything to come to terms with FM. I am a curious person and I have a yearning to understand everything; to really know how and why something works or doesn't work in my case.
This was the start of a very long journey and I'm still only just a few feet up the road but I still have one thing that will never be drained by FM - hope. It may not be much but it's helping me at the moment so let's go with it!
Now, while I'm feeling 8 I'm going to make the most of it and get some retail therapy.
Tara for now.