Having FM means that I often have to sit or lay down and it's during these times that I think. I think too much!
I wonder how much of my pain I could have avoided if I'd done things differently when I was younger.
What advice would you give to your younger self? What advice would you give to a friend if she were in your shoes.
Here's what I wish I could have said:
1. Face your feelings, don't block them out.
I used to throw myself into work to avoid having to think about the horrible situation that I found myself in. I kept myself busy, so I didn't have to think. I either put the kids first, or my job, because if I thought about myself I couldn't cope, so I avoided that.
2. Be selfish (a little).
I used to be so busy looking after everyone else, that I completely forgot that there were things I needed. I used to eat whatever was left. I never 'chose' what I wanted to wear or buy. I went along with everyone else. I bought myself the cheapest, easiest things to get. I don't want to sound like a saint, far from it, but I just didn't ever think about me.
3. Just be.
I never used to like my own company, this goes back to being selfish really. I think it was the silence I didn't like, because when it's silent you can think, and that's what I was trying to avoid. So my advice would be to love yourself and your own company. It's often said that if you can't love yourself how do you expect others to love you. I even went as far as turning the car radio on loud so that my brain was unable to focus. I know; crazy!!
4. If you're ill, you're ill!
Perhaps it's a woman thing, but I would never take any time to be ill. I even used to take my laptop to bed when I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. I thought it was good to struggle on, persevere, be the martyr. So foolish! I would never do this now, not even if I could.
5. Stop and look around.
Life was so busy, busy, busy! In my effort to block things out I lived life as fast as I could, and now I'm 51 and life has flown by. So I would say, slow down, take time to live in the moment.
I can't take the credit for this as I attended a mindfulness course (John Kabat Zinn inspired). I highly recommend his mindfulness books, this one in particular Full Catastrophe Living Jon Kabat-Zinn available from Amazon.
Don't go on automatic pilot, live every moment, taste the food, feel the sun, smell the coffee (lol).
Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing........ Be strong and keep smiling.
Comment below the advice you would have given to your younger self.
Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn available from Amazon.
