Today I find that I have the energy and positiveness to feel good, in fact I'd like to quietly celebrate two little things.
Firstly, I went to the doctors last week for a medication review. I had found that my sleep was growing increasingly more difficult and as a result I am having terribly disturbing nightmares. I do have nightmares whenever I am under stress or have been involved in any unpleasantness, even if I see someone unrelated to me having a bad time, it's enough to bring me nightmares. But recently they have been unrelenting and very disturbing. It's always the same type of nightmare related to a certain period of my life; perhaps I'll talk about that at another time.
Anyway, my doctor was as always very understanding and has prescribed an additional sleeping tablet (Zumenov I think). This is in addition to the Amitriptylene that I'm already taking. She warned me not to take the extra sleeping pill unless I really needed to and wouldn't be driving the next day.
I took the first one last night and have got up this morning feeling almost refreshed. I think that's the right word because it's such a long time since I felt refreshed after a sleep that I might be imagining it.
Of course it could have been wishful thinking on my part and might not happen again; but today I'm going to take it for what it is and enjoy my little respite.
Secondly, which is a more worthwhile and long term acheivement; I haven't had a day off sick since I started my new job in April. Granted, I did come home early one day from the office with a migraine. There has also been the odd occassion when I didn't feel up to driving and my wonderful husband came with me; moral support more than anything, but it helped.
Not a single day off work sick since April; I must be doing something right!
The next few weeks will be a good measure of my condition as I'm already worrying about Christmas and the additional effort that I'll need, not to mention the additional money.
But you know what - I'm optimistic! What a lovely way to start the day.
Keep well
Dee
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Ambition or Acceptance?
My husbands ambitious; he's never satisfied with his 'lot'. He's always finding imaginitive ways to push himself further. Sometimes he's successful and sometimes he's not, but he never gives up.
He runs his own business and he does have times when he feels like he's not getting anywhere but before long he finds another bout of energy and another idea to push ahead with.
I used to be the same; I wanted a high powered job, I wanted to be successful and in control but thanks to FM am having to learn another way of life. Acceptance!
It's somewhere between fighting and giving in. I can't fight it because that uses up valuable energy and doesn't get me anywhere. On the other hand I can't give in to it either. I'm not the sort of person to lay down and give up and I never will be.
However, I'm learning my limitations. On a good day I know I can work and drive and chair important business meetings, on a bad day I know I have to allow the FM to run it's course and maybe stay in bed.
That's not giving in, it's just letting go for a short time. I know it will pass when I'm having a bad day, so I have to accept that today's not going to be a good one and accept that I might have pain but I know that it will go away.
Sometimes I need my husband to remind me but most of the time I know that eventually the bad day will pass and I'll feel better again.
Bring on tomorrow!
He runs his own business and he does have times when he feels like he's not getting anywhere but before long he finds another bout of energy and another idea to push ahead with.
I used to be the same; I wanted a high powered job, I wanted to be successful and in control but thanks to FM am having to learn another way of life. Acceptance!
It's somewhere between fighting and giving in. I can't fight it because that uses up valuable energy and doesn't get me anywhere. On the other hand I can't give in to it either. I'm not the sort of person to lay down and give up and I never will be.
However, I'm learning my limitations. On a good day I know I can work and drive and chair important business meetings, on a bad day I know I have to allow the FM to run it's course and maybe stay in bed.
That's not giving in, it's just letting go for a short time. I know it will pass when I'm having a bad day, so I have to accept that today's not going to be a good one and accept that I might have pain but I know that it will go away.
Sometimes I need my husband to remind me but most of the time I know that eventually the bad day will pass and I'll feel better again.
Bring on tomorrow!
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Fraught festivities.
Over exertion has left me jaded. Daughters 21st birthday weekend, house guests, heavy meetings at work and general day to day chores and all of a sudden I'm out of energy.
So now I'm wondering how I'm going to cope with Christmas! There's no option this year I'm going to have to be super organised.
It always amazes me that just when I want to be ok; like when I've got time off work, or when there's a party or something special organised I get ill. For the past two Christmases I've either had a bad bout of flu or a nasty viral infection and have been out of action.
Last year hubby not only had to do all the present shopping in the lead up to Christmas but he also had to do the food shopping and cook the Christmas dinner. I'm so lucky to have him!
So this year, I'm starting early, I want all the presents bought by the end of this month, then I'll plan the meals and the table and spend November organising the bits and pieces in advance.
That will leave me only the food to do before hand. I shall not be making my own cards this year as that adds unneccessary pressure to my load (even though I do enjoy it).
So watch this space, and I'll let you know how my plan is progressing..... the count down has started!
So now I'm wondering how I'm going to cope with Christmas! There's no option this year I'm going to have to be super organised.
It always amazes me that just when I want to be ok; like when I've got time off work, or when there's a party or something special organised I get ill. For the past two Christmases I've either had a bad bout of flu or a nasty viral infection and have been out of action.
Last year hubby not only had to do all the present shopping in the lead up to Christmas but he also had to do the food shopping and cook the Christmas dinner. I'm so lucky to have him!
So this year, I'm starting early, I want all the presents bought by the end of this month, then I'll plan the meals and the table and spend November organising the bits and pieces in advance.
That will leave me only the food to do before hand. I shall not be making my own cards this year as that adds unneccessary pressure to my load (even though I do enjoy it).
So watch this space, and I'll let you know how my plan is progressing..... the count down has started!
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Lucky stars.
This week I have thanked my lucky stars over and over again.
As we remember 10 years ago, and I see the headlines every day of sadness and suffering of others, my selfish complaints pale into insignificance.
I was driving home on Friday listening to Jeremy Vine on radio 2 whose guest remembered interviewing a lady whose husband was trapped in the second tower and how they talked on the telephone until the line went dead when the tower collapsed. It made me cry.
I've had a run of bad luck over the past two weeks, car trouble, kid trouble, a robbery, work problems add in the FM and you could describe it as heavy (!).
However, let's get perspective, it could be soooooo much worse.
I'm lucky in that I have a wonderful husband, 3 great kids who aren't any trouble (they're just normal kids), I have a lovely house, a great job, fantastic family and money's ok. Except for the FM we're all healthy, what more do I need?
Some people would give an arm and a leg to have what I've got!
I'm grateful for my lot, and even my FM is manageable so nothing's gonna get me down anymore.
It's not bad luck I've had these last couple of weeks it's good luck; think what could have happened!
Stay well.
Dee
As we remember 10 years ago, and I see the headlines every day of sadness and suffering of others, my selfish complaints pale into insignificance.
I was driving home on Friday listening to Jeremy Vine on radio 2 whose guest remembered interviewing a lady whose husband was trapped in the second tower and how they talked on the telephone until the line went dead when the tower collapsed. It made me cry.
I've had a run of bad luck over the past two weeks, car trouble, kid trouble, a robbery, work problems add in the FM and you could describe it as heavy (!).
However, let's get perspective, it could be soooooo much worse.
I'm lucky in that I have a wonderful husband, 3 great kids who aren't any trouble (they're just normal kids), I have a lovely house, a great job, fantastic family and money's ok. Except for the FM we're all healthy, what more do I need?
Some people would give an arm and a leg to have what I've got!
I'm grateful for my lot, and even my FM is manageable so nothing's gonna get me down anymore.
It's not bad luck I've had these last couple of weeks it's good luck; think what could have happened!
Stay well.
Dee
Calm before the storm?
It's been nearly a week since my last entry because I have been away on business and have been trying to pace myself rather than spend my evenings on the net.
However, this week, I have driven around 1000 miles, dealt with the after effects of my car being broken into and theft of some personal belongings and my son having a car accident. I still managed to represent my company at a two day event and pitched for an additional contract valued at £25k (outcome to be decided), you could say it's been quite full on.
It's Saturday today and although I did sleep until 11.30am (I find I sleep better during the day than I do at night) but I feel.....ok!
I'm not hurting or aching, I don't have a head ache and I feel quite alert (at least for me). Have I turned a corner?
I'm beginning to wonder if the events of this week haven't actually caught up with me yet? Is it too much to hope that there won't be any after effects? Would that be unrealistic?
I have meditated quite alot this week and I have taken three doses of migraine medication on 3 seperate days which helped to avoid a full on migraine attack, so perhaps I could claim to have paced well?
The jury's out at the moment; it's too soon to tell. Perhaps I've just been lucky, or perhaps I've practiced what I've been learning all these months: pacing, accepting, floating, meditating.
As Doris said que sera sera, what will be, will be!
I guess time will tell.
Stay well.
Dee
However, this week, I have driven around 1000 miles, dealt with the after effects of my car being broken into and theft of some personal belongings and my son having a car accident. I still managed to represent my company at a two day event and pitched for an additional contract valued at £25k (outcome to be decided), you could say it's been quite full on.
It's Saturday today and although I did sleep until 11.30am (I find I sleep better during the day than I do at night) but I feel.....ok!
I'm not hurting or aching, I don't have a head ache and I feel quite alert (at least for me). Have I turned a corner?
I'm beginning to wonder if the events of this week haven't actually caught up with me yet? Is it too much to hope that there won't be any after effects? Would that be unrealistic?
I have meditated quite alot this week and I have taken three doses of migraine medication on 3 seperate days which helped to avoid a full on migraine attack, so perhaps I could claim to have paced well?
The jury's out at the moment; it's too soon to tell. Perhaps I've just been lucky, or perhaps I've practiced what I've been learning all these months: pacing, accepting, floating, meditating.
As Doris said que sera sera, what will be, will be!
I guess time will tell.
Stay well.
Dee
Saturday, 3 September 2011
If I Had The Answer...
I know we don't live in a perfect world, and yes, I know I'm an idealist but if I had the answer, the secret, the remedy, for Fibromyalgia I'd tell you all, I'd spread the word, I'd shout it from the roof tops. I wouldn't sell it to you.
I know we all have to make a living and perhaps the inspirational, life coaching and other self-help guides are a different matter; in fact I've bought and read many worthwhile books myself.
What particularly worries me is when I see an advert claiming to have beaten FM, 'I used to suffer but healed myself and you too can learn the secret' by buying their book or potion etc.
I have the best consultant I could ever wish for and if there was a way to 'cure' my FM I feel sure he would have told me and not left me in this condition.
So I'll continue my journey to ease my symptoms by whatever works for me at any given time and won't waste energy or money on 'the answer'. I'll share my experiences, good and bad, with you in my blog, and look forward to hearing what works for you and what doesn't.
Now, I'll step down from my soap box and carry on scouring the internet with my credit card safely in my purse.
My Dad always says that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Stay well.
Dee
I know we all have to make a living and perhaps the inspirational, life coaching and other self-help guides are a different matter; in fact I've bought and read many worthwhile books myself.
What particularly worries me is when I see an advert claiming to have beaten FM, 'I used to suffer but healed myself and you too can learn the secret' by buying their book or potion etc.
I have the best consultant I could ever wish for and if there was a way to 'cure' my FM I feel sure he would have told me and not left me in this condition.
So I'll continue my journey to ease my symptoms by whatever works for me at any given time and won't waste energy or money on 'the answer'. I'll share my experiences, good and bad, with you in my blog, and look forward to hearing what works for you and what doesn't.
Now, I'll step down from my soap box and carry on scouring the internet with my credit card safely in my purse.
My Dad always says that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Stay well.
Dee
Pacing? Who me?
I'm spending today in bed!
I've had a rotten week, from the car breaking down, to my boys being 'awkward', to trouble at work; add into the mix headaches, back pains, leg pains and oh so tired! All in all I'm glad to see the back of this week.
My stress levels have hit an all time high and that alone is enough to cause a crash today.
Ok, so I can either pull up the draw bridge, shut myself away and allow the anxiety of the week to boil and fester until I am able to get up again, or I can roll with it!
I choose the latter; So what if the car broke down; I got it mended!
Hubby can talk to the boys and eventually they will understand. Together we wrote a list of the things we want them to do (or not do) like not disturbing me when I'm in bed unless there's something that can't wait until later.
I'm good at my job and can cope with the 'issues' that have arisen this week and will still deliver more than is expected of me.
Ok, so I can't do it all at the same time which was the problem this week, but by Monday everything will be rosey again and it will be service as normal.
My husband has really helped me this week; he knows that to make me laugh when I'm in the process of crashing is the best medicine I could wish for. That's what I loved about him from the beginning, his ability to make me laugh, especially in times of trouble. In actual fact we're a perfect match as when he is suffering (he has health problems including depression) I can normally bring him around, and when I'm crashing he can always pick me up. What would I do without him!
Now I'm going to indulge myself for a while with a snack, an old film, my lovely bed and some peace and quiet.
Stay well.
Dee
I've had a rotten week, from the car breaking down, to my boys being 'awkward', to trouble at work; add into the mix headaches, back pains, leg pains and oh so tired! All in all I'm glad to see the back of this week.
My stress levels have hit an all time high and that alone is enough to cause a crash today.
Ok, so I can either pull up the draw bridge, shut myself away and allow the anxiety of the week to boil and fester until I am able to get up again, or I can roll with it!
I choose the latter; So what if the car broke down; I got it mended!
Hubby can talk to the boys and eventually they will understand. Together we wrote a list of the things we want them to do (or not do) like not disturbing me when I'm in bed unless there's something that can't wait until later.
I'm good at my job and can cope with the 'issues' that have arisen this week and will still deliver more than is expected of me.
Ok, so I can't do it all at the same time which was the problem this week, but by Monday everything will be rosey again and it will be service as normal.
My husband has really helped me this week; he knows that to make me laugh when I'm in the process of crashing is the best medicine I could wish for. That's what I loved about him from the beginning, his ability to make me laugh, especially in times of trouble. In actual fact we're a perfect match as when he is suffering (he has health problems including depression) I can normally bring him around, and when I'm crashing he can always pick me up. What would I do without him!
Now I'm going to indulge myself for a while with a snack, an old film, my lovely bed and some peace and quiet.
Stay well.
Dee
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