Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Lucky Break

I haven't written for a while, I've no excuse, I just dont know where the time has gone.

However, I want to start the year on a positive note

I  don't want to jinx myself so I'm not going to say that I've seen an improvement in my FM, I'd rather say that my FM is different!

I haven't had so many headaches, and those that I have had are not as severe generally speaking.

I still have the extraordinary tiredness but I'm coping well with it I think.

Also, I'm not made bedridden by a slight cough or cold.

The thing I can't quite understand is whether I have actually felt better or whether I've just been too busy to be  ill. Perhaps its a bit of both?

How much does my state of mind affect my FM?

I know that if I have an important meeting at working I can cope, but the minute I know I can relax I crash! For example, I worked flat out up til Christmas, both at work and at home, but as soon as the Christmas lunch was over I had a rotten cold come on and last right through the Christmas break!

I don't get it! Its not a conscious decision, I can't choose when to cope and when to crash but I can predict when it will happen because the pattern is clear. This makes me wonder why I can't control it better. I know that I'm ill every Christmas and sure enough I am, so why can't I influence it?

My family always tell me that I over analyze everything so perhaps that's what im doing, but I can't help but wonder....

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