Just when I thought I was getting somewhere.......

It was going too well! I really thought my loved ones understood! I've tried to walk a fine line without bleating on about myself all the time but also explaining to those around me what was happening and why I can't do what I used to do. Until yesterday! I spent most of it in bed, trying to meditate and then sleep. Sleep is so precious to me, it's so difficult to get and then all of a sudden there were doors banging, the boys were talking and laughing and I'm awake again. The problem was I went straight to them and explained where they had gone wrong and yes, I'll admit I was curt, and if I'm honest too forthright. I should have waited until I was properly awake and calm. However, the reaction I got goes to show that they don't really understand at all. It's made me realise what I need to do. Firstly, hubby needs to take control of the house, keep things moving, stay organised because I don't have the strength to do this along with my job. I can't give up my job so I need more help in other areas. Secondly, I need to relax more, learn to meditate better and reduce my stress levels. Not everything is as important as I think it is, I need to let go of the less important things and save my energy. But, those around me do need to take responsibility for themselves rather than relying on me all the time. They are all grown up after all. Ok, end of rant. Sorry this isn't my normal positive outlook, this weekend has been very trying but I'm not out just a little down. Tomorrows another day and I'm sure it'll be far better and more productive. Onwards and upwards! Stay well. Dee

New Year - New Hope!

Wow, how time flies! I didn't realise it had been so long since I last blogged, I really need to get better access, I am trying to get a new laptop as I only have a business one which I don't like to use for personal stuff.

Anyway, I will make more of an effort to record my experiences as it's quite therapeutic and I should indulge myself a little more.

I managed the whole Xmas break with only one bad day! I hosted Xmas and had my parents staying which was absolutely fantastic. However, Xmas is always a stressful time for me as I like to make sure everyone has everything they need and all the trimmings are taken care of. I had alot of help this year, the kids did the decorations and my hubby did alot of the preparations and my parents helped while they were with us too. It was lovely, but I am now enjoying a slower pace and a more relaxing couple of days before going back to work.

I'm feeling quite positive too, financially we're not in a bad state considering it's January and I am more able to cope with my new job as I've finally got some experience under by belt. This year we are going to focus on decorating the house as we haven't done much to it since we moved in 4 years ago.

I've learnt my limits and although sometimes I do still push myself to the max, I generally know when to stop.

This year I am feeling grateful for what I have; my husband, my family, my friends, my job, my life!

It could be so much worse, I am a very lucky person.

Stay well

Dee